Day 12 and 13

both of these days were silent internal meditations. according to Silvia Nakkach, there are three kinds of sounds: inner, outer and secret. I was meditating on the secret sounds these days.

not much to report since i have fallen behind on writing these blogs and don't totally remember my experience. i do remember that for day 13, the theme of self-compassion came up pretty strong again.

this seems to be a recurring theme that is coming up. and this seems to be the area of most necessity during what has turned out to be an emotionally challenging time for me. i realize that when there is a strong foundation of self love and compassion then we no longer look to the outside, including things, substances, people, places to fill the void we are perceiving in the core of our being. agape is selfless love, love flowing from the inside out, effortlessly.

i know i am pure love and yet i forget.

i know i am pure love and yet i grieve for people who have not truly seen me. appreciated me. valued me.

there is a deep sadness that comes along with the feeling of not being seen for real. there is nothing i can do to help others see me though is there? projections and veils of illusions over the "other" are for them to dissolve, not for me to push myself into their reality. i have to keep the focus on my heart and opening to supportive loving individuals who are trusting and honor my gifts and authenticity.