Trust

the body is a learning tool. the mind is a learning tool as well but in order to take action we must integrate the learning into our bodies. all the intellectualizing in the world falls short of success if we don't know how to execute what it is we are learning. this has been the missing piece for me. it seems accurate to say that we need to first build the solid foundation of inner trust before we can leap into the unknown. if i am weak in trust, how can I take action? i will not get off the ground because my bones are felt as feeble and may break on the way back down. if I am solid and stable in my bones, in my body, then I am only wondering how high can I jump, not how it may hurt if and when I land. I trust my body can and will support me. I trust that I may not land where I thought I was going to land but it's ok because I am supported by my own strength. although there are outside influences that can support us, it is ultimately up to our own inner strength and trust to make these leaps and strides that we know we want to make. where does this trust arise from? practice doing the things that scare us? how do we initially do something that scares us? what I am learning is that our bodies have the answers but that I haven't been listening to it. I have been looking to my physical mind to make certain decisions for a long time. this has usually left me in a state of frustration and confusion. there is an inner tug of war that goes on. there is an impulse to move and take action and then there is mind and thought that immediately goes into fear mode.

in building this foundation of inner strength and trust i can act without the mental noise being so loud that it inhibits the action my body instinctively knows that it needs to take. no longer is the mind (as visualized in the head) the only thing that I appear to be moving from. i am remembering that mind can be and is found in all parts of my body. my hand has consciousness. my feet have mind. the totality of our being does not feel aligned when moving from our brains alone. this is what has felt off. where are we looking for the answers to guide us? we can start to look within our entire being. trusting that we can move and act from a place with more confidence because it feels aligned with our body mind.

what is it that holds us back? self doubt? lack of self confidence? Fear? check in with yourself. where does the fear come up? is it around every turn? every decision? waiting in the corner to jump out right before you are to make a move that could change your life as you know it? why does this fear come up? and how can we start to move from a place of trust into the unknown? the illusion that anything is ever going to be known before it happens is just that. an illusion. we can set up things just so in our life so that our life is predictable is most cases. we understand that there is cause and effect. judging by past experiences we can get pretty good at doing one action to get a desired effect. some may say, yeah this sounds good! i would like my life to be without surprise so that I feel safe and supported and not scared anymore. if everything is set up "just so" than i don't need to worry and fret about the future and I can finally breathe. does this really feel true though? to me, this feels like building the illusion to be even stronger than it was before. humans are incredibly intelligent and underneath the most thought out plan is the reality that we don't ever know how the next moment is going to be. we don't know that tomorrow we are going to have our job, our partner, our cat, our car, our sanity, our sense of sight. why am i going off in this tangent? it all comes back to trust. trusting that where we put our next step will be the one leading us in the direction of our potential. do we want to walk towards the unknown that our soul is gently nudging us to?

Carolyne Myss says, "our biography becomes our biology". What does this mean? The stories we tell ourselves, the events we experience in our lifetime, the resistance or welcoming we may experience to certain events, people, times, weather, smells, music, etc, becomes integrated into our bodies. experiences are felt and sometimes can pass through. and sometimes they don't pass through, they stick.

So, my focus is to continue to cultivate trust in myself so that i may start to listen more closely to my entire being, to listen to my soul's gentle whispers on why it is I am here. ah! the big question! don't we want to know what the heck we are doing here? (more on that large topic later!) So, I pledge on this blog my commitment to trust. that i may start to move from my entire being, trusting it to guide me. knowing that there will be fear in some places but as the trust develops so does the fear diminish. our beings have so much potential to let fear inhibit what we can do in our lifetimes. the ultimate goal here for me is to reach my maximum potential and then beyond. the maximum potential continues to increase as we keep hitting the maximum threshold! how exciting!