Body Wisdom

Today I had a completely new experience. When I sat down to meditate I started to focus on what I would call my inner body. The inner body is like an energetic field, comprised of subtle sensations, movements, twists, contractions, expansions. It has a lot of the same qualities one would think of the physical body having but mostly energetic in capacity. It has its own movement as from what I experienced today. I had experienced this before when getting cranial-sacral, and I have experienced this in other more dramatic ways like through dancing and other forms of movement, but never on this subtle have I stayed with the inner bodies movements and will. I say will because the inner body seems to have its own will. During this process today, my mind was busy on some level, noticing what was happening, wondering how this could be happening, analyzing, trying to interpret, (doesn't sound too much like meditating I know but the inner body wanted to express itself so that is what happened instead). So what exactly happened?


I first felt my inner energy of my body twisting to the right, mostly energetically in my neck. After this was happening for a couple minutes I opened my eyes to see if my head had actually twisted at all. To my surprise, it hadn't. However as my inner body continued to twist to the right eventually my head followed. There was something internally that was willing my neck to twist to the right. It kept twisting and twisting until I was looking completely to the right side of my room. The speed at which this was happening was really slow...
I stayed with this process and kept focusing on my breath to allow the inner body to relax, but mostly to allow my physical body and my mind to relax into the journey that I literally felt like I was being taken on.
My neck started to open up backwards and slowly started to roll to the left. As this was happening I could feel my chest open up, the previous pains I was having in my upper back and arm had completely vanished, and there was a sense of "opening" throughout my upper body.
What was happening? How could my inner body be directing my outer body and more importantly, how did it know exactly what to do without the help of my brain?
HA! This is body wisdom!
I consider myself kind of a "slow learner" in the school of life. It takes me years to learn what others claim to already know way before me. BUT this is because I have to have these felt experiences to embody the learning experience. THIS is the WAY I learn! And today showed me that I don't dictate when I learn these things. I thought I was sitting down to meditate but instead Spirit had another plan for me. My body showed me a tool I can using for opening. It showed me a tool for unwinding the inner twists in the body. It showed me that if I sit and listen, it speaks. But it doesn't yell. The inner body is a subtle energy, like the heart. The heart knows the answers but it usually whispers them to us. If we are not listening closely, then we do not hear the answers. We are too busy searching for them elsewhere, usually outside of the hearts realm. Far away from "home".

And I should mention that my upper left back was really sore today when I woke up. I sat at the end of my bed thinking- I really need to see an acupuncturist soon to take care of some of my physical ailments...

but since my experience, maybe this is not true. Maybe my body has the ability to work on itself. maybe with more deep listening I can continue to work out the inner kinks and twists on my own. this process is not a quick fix. i know it requires an amount of patience and diligence. it takes listening to when the inner body needs to be listened to, followed, nourished, indulged.