17 January 2011

today is the only day that has ever existed

have you ever noticed that today is the only day you have ever lived? i am not quite sure how to explain what i mean but i am going to try. something in my internal world is shifting and with this shift everything else is changing. right now this feeling is subtle, but it is the peculiar recognition that time is not actually real. its like i am standing still and everything is moving around me. i described it to a friend in relating it to nintendo. when you are playing nintendo, you are watching things move on a screen but nothing is moving at all. the pixels are just lighting up in different areas and there is the illusion of movement. so it looks like mario is running, but really it is just an illusion that everything around him is changing. he is alsways in the same place on the screen. so it's kind of like that i some way. it's also that there is a growing sense of how nothing is actually real, not just that time isn't real. the attachments to outcomes and people are decreasing. right now that comes across as sort of detached in a dispondent way maybe, but that is because there is so much growing i need to do in the area of compassion. but to my surprise, the compassion is growing.

16 January 2011

synchronicity and rambles

This is my first blog since 2010. so happy new year. since the solstice the theme of synchronicity has been glaring me in the face, in an up-close and personal way. so much that I can't not write about it in a public forum.

what role does synchronicity play in my life? why am i experiencing more of what I perceive to be synchronistic events lately than I have in a long time? is it because I am placing more attention on when it is happening or am I placing more attention on it because things are happening that are asking for me to pay more attention to them? and how they are related? it feels kind of like a chicken and egg discussion but with a bizarre little twist. everything comes back to trust. i'll explain that later.