gentle true spirit

I have no "special" words to record here. tonight it is late and I am going to see what comes out of my psyche and to what extent I feel comfortable publishing something that has no plan. I am turning my blog into a more general free form writing blog. not so much focused on sound and healing, but more open to any type of inspiration that comes up. my avenues of expression are too varied to try and fit my ramblings into one theme. i would need many different blogs to keep them separated and that would be crrrazy!

i went through a portal of sorts yesterday. I learned some key pieces of information about my "self" and this body and why I am here. I can't say in more detail yet what I am referring to. only that as we look deeper, trust our inner knowing, and open to possibility, this world continues to look ever more strange.

i bought Native American hoop drum last weekend. this weekend I bought a desk and a chair. a drum, a desk and a chair.



the drum being a symbol to me of a major opening into trance states, ritual, calmer, deeper states of being, and a key to opening into new worlds. when I play this drum it feels like my voice has a vehicle in which to ride in, on and around. it keeps time without much effort and I start to chant native folk hymns that come in from somewhere, i don't know where.

the desk and the chair. the symbols of my new identity as a student in "higher education". i didn't think I would come back to this. maybe some part of me did. my brain had been turning into mushy peas as my friend Susie calls it. with no structure around time and when to read what, books fall by the way side for me. i have always been the "type" to be experiencing or doing. sitting still and absorbing information from a 2 dimensional sheet doesn't so much fascinate me as I have many times, wished it did. to consider myself an intellectual, to recite facts, figures, stats and so eloquently wrap up an argument that I have won are not really part of my reality. the way my memory works is still somewhat of an enigma to me. it may not seem to appealing to the well polished intellectual but for the emotional memory motivated beings it makes some sort of sense.

my eyes are drooping and this screen is sucking some small amount of life force.

thanks for reading who ever you are.