well...
i have been SICK sick sick the last week. it put a damper on my bloggin
and on my singing and chanting.
what have i been doing?
sleeping and meditating silently, still doing the daily practice but had to modify it...
so i have followed through with my 40 day commitment but due to this crazy sinus infection
that i have been healing from the past week, my throat has needed a rest.
yesterday i meditated down at ocean beach and experienced the magic of watching pods of dolphins frollicking about in the bay!
i immediately felt a shift in my level of compassion for myself and gained perspective on a matter that i had been seeking resolution for. i was able to truly appreciate the simple beauty in nature and to know that i am that. i am that. i am that.
so many changes are happening every day in my world. everything is continuously falling away, into the abyss of the never never land that all moments go.
adyashanti talks about how everything is simultaneously happening and falling away all the time into nothingness. sometimes i can sense particles of this fabric of non-reality (to make a bad analogy) but for the most part those realizations are short lived. everything feels so real and seems to matter so much. my mind is trying to make sense of how it can be that each moment falls away. i know it does.
some part of me knows this.
to be continued...
today is my last day of the 40 day cycle.
i am complete but i will continue each day until i don't
20 October 2013
10 October 2013
Day 28 - Oct 9th C and G - Images of the Golden Mean spiral
Started out this evening's meditation with the shruti box in the key
of Bflat but it sounded wobbly and didn't feel right in my body or with my
voice. I realized that I resonate more with the full octave C (1 high and 1 in the lower octave)
and the fifth of that which is G. I know I have written about this before but last night's meditation
was super interesting...
when i switched to the C and G on the shruti and started humming into my heart, i got a clear
image of the exact spiral as the one above and that it was being hummed into my body and in my
heart!
it was so vivid. part of this blog is to record these moments of insight, synchronicity, magic,
and to document what affect this is all having in my body but also what changes are happening in other areas of my life.
more on that in another post...
08 October 2013
Day 26 (Oct. 7th)
tonight i joined in on my roomies weekly group silent meditation practice. holy shit it was powerful.
so much gratitude came welling up from somewhere and overtook me. tears formed in my eyes. i felt so thankful to know they were all sitting there, part of my world. part of my experience right then. just being here, i felt so grateful for all the beauty that is in my life. the friends, the privileged existence i live currently. my work is starting to become a steady flow of people needing my services and for that i am so blessed.
i prayed. i prayed for more clients so that i may be taken care of and create more abundance in my world. stating to the universe that i am open vessel and i am ready for more work and more clients to come my way.
gratitude is not something i have spent a whole lot of time with. i am not convinced it is something to "cultivate" as "they" say. but i think when it comes up authentically, these are times for me to take notice of and relish in. i shared my experience with the group afterward and they listened deeply.
the quality of my experience and perception had changed so much after being in a vibration of gratitude for just a few moments. everyone looked beautiful and shiny and i had a deep sense of ok'ness and love for them all.
this is proof to me that how we are really does create how we experience the world. its quite amazing actually... they didn't change from the beginning to end of meditation but something in me did which completely affected the way i perceived them. crazy shit man.
i'm praying for more gratitude and compassion and raisin' the vibration to that of love so that i may experience the world as that of love.
so much gratitude came welling up from somewhere and overtook me. tears formed in my eyes. i felt so thankful to know they were all sitting there, part of my world. part of my experience right then. just being here, i felt so grateful for all the beauty that is in my life. the friends, the privileged existence i live currently. my work is starting to become a steady flow of people needing my services and for that i am so blessed.
i prayed. i prayed for more clients so that i may be taken care of and create more abundance in my world. stating to the universe that i am open vessel and i am ready for more work and more clients to come my way.
gratitude is not something i have spent a whole lot of time with. i am not convinced it is something to "cultivate" as "they" say. but i think when it comes up authentically, these are times for me to take notice of and relish in. i shared my experience with the group afterward and they listened deeply.
the quality of my experience and perception had changed so much after being in a vibration of gratitude for just a few moments. everyone looked beautiful and shiny and i had a deep sense of ok'ness and love for them all.
this is proof to me that how we are really does create how we experience the world. its quite amazing actually... they didn't change from the beginning to end of meditation but something in me did which completely affected the way i perceived them. crazy shit man.
i'm praying for more gratitude and compassion and raisin' the vibration to that of love so that i may experience the world as that of love.
Day 25 (Oct. 6th)
silent meditation - vocal meditation
in discussion with the fleas that seem to have taken a liking to our house and cats. haven't made any progress yet as to why they won't leave our house. focus strayed on to thoughts of this coming week and weekend. work work work plans camping blah blah
vocal meditations prove to be a means to stay focused in a deep meditative way, unlike being silent.
sitting in silence has other benefits but it seems that using the voice during meditation is a way to keep energy moving and there can still be deep relaxation but b/c i have something to do i am less restless. silent meditations bring up the deep restlessness that has been there my whole life...
what am i trying to get away from?
what am i trying to get out of?
nervous system settling more and more these days. i am filling up more of me and cleaning the house of my body of other energy that isn't mine. fall cleaning. an autumn soul cleaning...
in discussion with the fleas that seem to have taken a liking to our house and cats. haven't made any progress yet as to why they won't leave our house. focus strayed on to thoughts of this coming week and weekend. work work work plans camping blah blah
vocal meditations prove to be a means to stay focused in a deep meditative way, unlike being silent.
sitting in silence has other benefits but it seems that using the voice during meditation is a way to keep energy moving and there can still be deep relaxation but b/c i have something to do i am less restless. silent meditations bring up the deep restlessness that has been there my whole life...
what am i trying to get away from?
what am i trying to get out of?
nervous system settling more and more these days. i am filling up more of me and cleaning the house of my body of other energy that isn't mine. fall cleaning. an autumn soul cleaning...
Day 24 (Oct. 5th)
Honey Flow Farm chanting and sound healing for the yoga class!
today i had the pleasure of chanting in nature (one of my favorite places to sing) for the beginning
and end of honey flow yoga out in jackson, ca.
the beginning of the class I led a chant (using the shruti box as the drone instrument):
om mani padme hum
for self compassion, this tibetan chant is said to contain all chants within it. i led the participants through a journey of opening their voices and placing their hands on their hearts in order to make contact with the heart. i have found this is useful for myself so I am hoping that it also helps others.
at the end of the class while everyone was in final relaxation pose i chanted and used the crystal bowl as the drone. one man fell asleep so this was a sign i did something right...
the combination of making music and singing in nature in this way is really special to me. i wish i would have had more time to really ground into the place itself but i was only there for a short period of time.
being on a farm and eating a meal that literally grew 5 feet away from our table made so much sense to me. so much more connected and congruent then how i normally experience food. singing in nature also makes a lot of sense to me too. i felt so much more grounded and was able to lead a chant which is definitely out of my comfort zone...
today i had the pleasure of chanting in nature (one of my favorite places to sing) for the beginning
and end of honey flow yoga out in jackson, ca.
the beginning of the class I led a chant (using the shruti box as the drone instrument):
om mani padme hum
for self compassion, this tibetan chant is said to contain all chants within it. i led the participants through a journey of opening their voices and placing their hands on their hearts in order to make contact with the heart. i have found this is useful for myself so I am hoping that it also helps others.
at the end of the class while everyone was in final relaxation pose i chanted and used the crystal bowl as the drone. one man fell asleep so this was a sign i did something right...
the combination of making music and singing in nature in this way is really special to me. i wish i would have had more time to really ground into the place itself but i was only there for a short period of time.
being on a farm and eating a meal that literally grew 5 feet away from our table made so much sense to me. so much more connected and congruent then how i normally experience food. singing in nature also makes a lot of sense to me too. i felt so much more grounded and was able to lead a chant which is definitely out of my comfort zone...
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